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An update

So, no I’m not dead.

I sort of want to be, a lot of the time now…

It’s just a lot has been going on, but i don’t want to push my burdens on other people, because everyone has got their fair share of troubles in life right? and my troubles aren’t even that bad, and I have absolutely no right to be complaining about my life.

But hey, take it as you will, ok?

Lately, my grades have been terrible as i prepare for sophmore year. I have 3 c’s. The worst grades I’ve gotten. My friend keeps telling me I’m not stupid, I’m not ugly, I’m not any of the bad things I call myself.

But it is hard when everyone around you is like that. My closest friends are so insecure. But thing is, they’re gorgeous, wonderful, amazing people that I LOVE beyond words. And yet, they tell me they’re fat, ugly, that no one loves them, which really hurts. It makes me cry. Not in front of them, but i do. It’s really hard to feel good about yourself, no matter how hard you try, when the people you love and look up to talk about themselves like that. And it crushes me really slowly and painfully when I try to say something nice about someone, and they shoot me down, saying I’m lying.

Stop it. It’s rude when you do that. I HATE when you do that to me. As if I don’t already feel like shit. I just don’t show it as much as you.

And i hate it when you act so one sided about things. A lot of my friends don’t like each other, and that’s fine. But then i get tangled up into that mess. And they expect me to take sides. No. That isn’t FAIR. Don’t pull me into SHIT that I shouldn’t have to deal with.

And don’t question my space. I don’t always want to be with people. I don’t get offended when you, my supposed “friend” doesn’t invite me anywhere, even though i know you hang out with other people. SO let me have my space. Don’t call me antisocial. Everyone needs space. I just like space more than most people.

Don’t talk like you know me, especially when you don’t.

People are so FAKE. I can’t tell plastic from flesh anymore. So many people cover themselves in a plastic outside, that is sometimes so think, the flesh on the inside dies.

And there are so many backstabbing BITCHES. I can’t tell anybody anything.

Fuck the world.

I’m pissed off.

Most likely gonna die off tumblr again for a while.

-Carissa

(P.S: If you are one of my followers that know me in real life, and you fee like I was talking bout you, chances are  I was. Because i was. And you know who you are. And i think it’s my turn to have my own hissy fit. So don’t bitch to me about it, because chances are, I’m legitimately pissed off at you. So shut the fuck up.)

(P.P.S.: By chances are, I mean, I’m pissed off at you. Don’t ask me questions. I won’t answer them.)